If my Life were a book and I the author, i would want to write a Fairy tale focusing on the Happy Ever After part for the Kingdom. It will be about….
Freedom to Feel
and my book would be titled
How to Write a Fairytale for Real
Hypothesis for this Fairytale book:
That Dreams come true just not the way we plan or think they will happen
That awakening and healing our sexual issues expands the capacity of our human hearts to FEEL.
That feeling is the key to World healing
That our hearts can awaken through a story in which we ourselves are a part of
That human tears are the medium for which feelings of love can be shared simultaneously
We each have within us a place that responds with care and love to ourselves and the world around us – This is a root of Happiness. It is innate and our first instinct. We just have to find ways to return home to these innate instincts and bring them into our daily lives.
Once upon a time on the eve of the New 21st Century December 31, 1999 I made a pledge to myself to find my happiness and light. Something anyone can do at any age! Up until that point I had been focusing on finding a husband as the object of what i thought would be finding happiness. Since that plan was leading me to only more misery and self doubt as i was officially 30 and still not married with no children, on the eve of the New Millennium i began a new plan outside of finding a man plan. Deeply engrained in my psyche was the idea that happiness and love came from finding a man to love me and making children with him. Well, that was clearly not happening so was i to not be happy until it did happen? So, on the Eve of the new year I began a journal of Awakening to go inside myself deeply to find a solution.
Here is what i have to say about making a pledge to the Universe and yourself. If you really mean it, pay attention and be brave! The Universe will align to support your goal, but this often comes in the form of intense challenges and also divine signs and synchronicities. If one has the outlook that whatever the situation is that arises, it is in the form of a teaching, a test, or a challenge to overcome in order to move closer to ones goal, to find one’s inner light, then no matter how difficult the situation, it can be used for good. Also important is to pay attention to all that happens, to keep an eye on the big picture, without being too attached to any one situation, person, or circumstance. Nevertheless, when the universe gives you signs that your inner mission is manifesting in the outer world, have the courage to believe it and yet, even then, don’t be too attached. I learned this lesson the hard way and i can explain later and give lots of examples.
In order to find one’s inner light one has to find one’s inner mind. At it’s root. This can be tricky because there are many ideas, thoughts, feelings, and responses already in our minds that may be covering our pure inner being. ThroughInterconnection and interdependence on our family, community, religion and country as we go through life gives us certain thoughts and patriotisms that we as a group share. It is important to see which of these cause happiness and which cause misery. We need to get to know our inside thoughts and allow them to shift and become more light and loving.
In 2002 i moved to Maui and experienced one year of intense sexual healing and spiritual awakening. From this experience i learned that the energy in each of our chakras (like our sexual chakras) can be opened and healed and that energy can then flow into our hearts and brains and make real changes in our experience of the world. I believe sexual energy is a gateway for World healing and peace. In my situation, I was becoming like a first responder to my world. For the first time in my life, i was getting to know my spontaneous arising response to the world – not according to rules, or how my Country or Religion or parents taught me to respond. I was becoming authentic in every sense of the word. Taking on what fits and letting everything else go.
In 2003 War on Terror came. I responded by planting a seed for a Miracle Tree, or better known in the East as a Wish Fulfilling tree and I reached out to Oprah Winfrey to join me in Maui. 2 years later she bought land here. It was an inner synchronicity of an alignment even though now more than 10 years later, Oprah and I have yet to connect in the ‘real’ world. (i.e. don’t get too attached to the good signs because you will be disappointed when they don’t become realities as i have felt in the course of countless OPrah signs, yet no Oprah)
So, living from our root good instincts to care for others and help them is what i found is a base of happiness yet this good instinct is also the ground where deception can enter and mislead us.
Example: My hearts radar is awake because of this sexual healing spiritual awakening. If i sense something is in need of help, i take the time to look around for what is silently calling for help. I see off in the distance something small swimming in the pool, I get up to see if i can help. Instinct. I see a small mouse swimming for dear life, i put a plate in the pool for it to swim onto and create a bridge for him to go to land. He does, and runs off into the jungle. I feel happy because i was of use to another living being in a helpful way. Helped something survive and saved its life in the temporary way.
The problem with this goodness of human intention is that it is the very ground that deception will arise out of and will use your good intentions in a bad way. This is where patriotism and supremacy arise. It tells itself it is saving or ‘liberating’ people by hurting people, or fighting in wars it tells itself it is the ‘good’ fight. It lies to itself as a nation and presents the noble idea that it is a rescuer but it’s not rescuing anything. It’s killing. We have to return to our true good instincts. We have to be willing to think differently, or better yet to feel differently on the same issues. We have to clear ourselves from propaganda and rightousness and be willing to see the truth and then live from a higher level of care.
This is the Evolution of our Heart as interconnected humans.
As we each individually expand our hearts capacity and intelligence in our personal inner life, it is also helping the Universal heart of Humanity. Why? because of Interconnection. No longer is the feeling of failure an issue when we make feeling care in the daily moments of our life our inner sign of success. It is an antidote to apathy. Discovering and nurturing our inner capacity for care is the basis and ground for the fairy tale book the Statue of Liberty holds in her hand. Because here is the thing, when one looks for inner light and finds it – then what comes next, like Oprah, is one’s instinct is to want to share.
My blog became about how we manifest Love in our Governments and daily lives as We the People. The obvious first step is to create a platform on which the people can join. The inner mother inside that woke up in 2003 and pledged allegiance to serve Liberty realizes that helping end war and promoting peace and responsible leadership and love, feeding the hungry, making sure all beings have access to clean pure water is of utmost importance on our planet and in our own hearts and should be the basis of the 3 branches of moral authority (called Government)
When i came to Maui and my heart got a series of heart awakening intense experiences, I began even more to think for myself outside of my alleigience to Family Country or Religion as a citizen of America. My heart was thinking for herself and sharing her thougths freely in her spoken words and journal blogs and peace alchemy art. I began to think as a citizen of the Human race and awoke an instinct I call Mother’s Love. A spark of light in our heart that we all share. That is the symbolism that Torch of Liberty represents. My story inward has become an outer Fairytale that includes The Statue of Liberty, His Holiness Karmapa, Oprah, Tinkerbell and a Miracle$Tree4We the People. go figure. Sometimes a writer is just a messenger relaying ideas day after day, year after year, without knowing where they are coming from or where they are going – she just delivers what her heart has to say as the world (and War on Terror) carries about it’s business.
Recently Oprah put the question out to people to write their story by asking, If my life was a book, and I was the author, how would i want this story to go? Well, may i just say here at the beginning that my life as i have authentically documented the progress over the last 16 years has become many words in many blogs, but no book. So that is what this is. The beginning of writing my story into a book.
The backstory i have to write about is the girls heart history so that one can better understand the current story. Also, by going back and telling a story, one can see the divine synchronicities and one can see how the story was writing her as much as she was writing the story. All she was doing was trying to express the inner hearts light ideas to help the world live love by seeking and finding it. with our Freewill. Rather than marry a man – she wants to help marry a Country and ‘We the People’ to Compassion.
So the back story in my romantic heart takes me to the Tale of two Kings. Every girl who loves a boy thinks of him as King of her heart. or like a Prince Charming in her world. Two men in this physical world, without my precognition or planning, have established themselves in my heart as ‘The One.’ They didn’t do this, but their presence in my life as signs and feelings arose from within did it for me. So yes, i am still single at 47 with no children but my inner experience of this same situation i found myself in at Y2K has improved.
Back then i had not met an American Guru named Greg Clowminzer and I had not heard of His Holiness Karmapa. Back then I didn’t not have a personal relationship in my heart with Tibet and back then Jesus was just a story, not a living presence and being in my heart. Back then i didn’t know of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Back then i see what was missing. Not a boy to love me. But my love experiencing itself through loving Guru, and through loving Guru, one loves the world. Love. it cannot be contained. It is free. It can grow and expand and has incredible intelligence. It lives inside each one of us and can be nurtured and hatched like a golden egg on Easter. Love. It has energy to transform our mind and our world. It is the most valuable commodity our human race has to offer and can be a point of unity for our human family to invest in. It is our change and it is our freedom. This book is about Love and Happy Ever After…from the White House.
In the telling of my love story it is my hope that all beings can get to know on a heart level the Fairy tale Prince Charmings and King Charming. On a personal level the first dream Prince Charming has chosen his wife and the other is a monk. So, the classic Fairy tale of the boy and girl marrying and living happy ever after is not my fairytale. I am writing a new age fairy tale that is focused on the Happy Ever After part of a Fairy Tale working to marry a We the People to our Care. Individual hearts interconnecting through a story about growing love. Our story. and our Law of Attraction to Men who are masters of it.
This is a love story. It may skip around years, times, and places, but its ground intention remains the same since the Y2K date to find light and benefit others, so hopefully it won’t be confusing as i spontaneously write each day on this same one document. I may jump round thru the last 16 years in the story, but i trust it will all come together if i just continue telling the story one day at a time whatever comes up each day as i post.
I hope you enjoy meeting the characters i introduce in this love story because they are far greater than fictitious fighting manifestations of ‘heroes’ like batman and spiderman, they are real beings. Real Heroes. and a source of power and intelligence for our entire human race. That is the nature of this book. A living story based on true love. A story that will show how love can grow, literally, and guide us into our Age of Light. Our Golden Age. Our 1000 years of Peace.
And so it begins….
The year is 2001 and the year i met my first Guru and fairy tale Prince Charming. 2002 I move to Maui and embark on one year intense sexual healing, spiritual awakening of my inner feminine energy. 2003 my newly awakened heart splits in a billion pieces when he marries another and War on terror breaks out. Pain was everywhere. Now there was no chance me ever having my dream come true. Dream man chose another. So I made a vow. Abandon trying to find a partner and devote yourself to working for the Heart. Caretaking. Use my body speech and mind to serve Love. I took a vow of Celibacy in 2003 and all sexual energy was channeled into my heart and mind. Many words began to flow off my fingers and many dream boards and collages began to form in my surroundings. Was I writing a story, or was i just a medium unto which a story was being written? I found that by letting go of one man, my heart bloomed to the world. I found myself hanging a World map in my house and decorating it with ideas, plans, prayers, and twinkle light. I began making videos speaking about a 3rd party of higher consciousness as a political platform in America.
By 2008 His Holiness Karmapa’s story came into my life and as he was beginning to go public with speaking to the world, i was feeling his courage and massive duty he was committing to upholding as i was simultaneously feeling a duty and courage awake within me as my heart was taking it upon herself to shift her Country, America and speak out as a woman whose heart was alive and awake. I spoke to my blog, to the wind and sometimes to youtube. One day at an emotional low point of doubt my ability to properly channel ideas through my very ordinary and awkward self , i deleted my youtube. I decided that any prayers made on behalf of We the People would benefit them whether or not i made videos. now looking back that was a mistake. we should all be willing to view where we are at at any given moment so we can see the progression where we are going. to make perfect book or perfect video is unrealistic and i should have let my imperfection shine it’s intention no matter what my judgment of the video.
Point being, as love is teaching us and showing us new ways to respond and giving us ideas as solutions to our problems, we need to have the courage to listen. To feel. and to Express. This is tantra to me. To union with Love in our Body Speech and Mind, the Qualties of our Character and our Activities. So i began to think global. I couldn’t help it. When most are not thinking global, this can be tricky. This why Tibet and His Holiness Dalai Lama became my center, my refuge, my power. Compassion is global. Compassion is free. Compassion is our answer and our happiness. Merging America with Compassion, with our Light, became the ground of my activity. To caretake with love my immediate environment and to one pointedly focus on the Whitehouse throughout the years.